Mama Halle always told me to watch where I’m going. She also told me not to hold it in. I had a fear of missing out on all things fun.
New York City is full of dingbats and weirdos – and I love it. Nothing you say, do or wear is too much because while you’re taking pictures of an LL Bean boot for a client in Times Square, the naked cowboy next to you is high-fiving the giant Elmo for a picture taken by Buzz Lightyear.
Last weekend, I was given the task of photographing a single LL Bean rain boot in an iconic NYC setting for an upcoming anniversary event. I made a point to go to Grand Central Station, Times Square, the High Line and the Chrysler Building. Really embracing my inner photog, I, among others, caught myself whispering, “That’s right, give it to me. Let me see what you’ve got” in a British accent because my subconscious is English.
Don’t worry, it was endearingly strange, not keep-at-least-5-feet-from-my-children-at-all-times strange.
Guilty of being one of the worst walking texters of our generation, I’m weaving my way home through part of Chelsea – editing, retouching, applying filters, texting – sort of looking at the sidewalk through my phone and —
GGGSSSHHHHPPFFF (that’s the phonetic spelling of a water balloon breaking on your head from 4 stories high).
I’m momentarily paralyzed with my arms in the air like Paul Pierce SWEARING he didn’t commit the foul. I look up and start yapping my head off like the wet dog that I am, only drawing more attention to me. A bystander asked me if I wasokay and if I was hurt. Puzzled, I look myself up and down and respond,
“Some asshole just water ballooned me. This only happens in nauseatingly flirtatious scenes in non-fictional Rom-Com’s or at an elementary school Spring picnics.”
Completely void of all sympathy, the man side-steps and walks away.
At $21/hr, I’m absolutely submitting 9 hours of overtime.
Here’s my favorite shot of the boot giving me some attitude in the big city: